


Surprise, Surprise

by WhiteOak



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Awkwardness, Bodyswap, Dubcon Kissing, Groping, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Poor Dick, all one-sided - Freeform, and to say dick's confused is an understatement, basically jason jumps dick thinking he's tim, no betas we die like mne, this was written in like one sitting and has not been edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 14:51:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21321991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteOak/pseuds/WhiteOak
Summary: Tim and Jason have been keeping their relationship on the down-low, to avoid causing more family drama. This backfires in a big way when Dick and Tim get hit with a spell which traps them in each other’s body, and no one has time to explain the situation before Jason pulls “Tim” away for an aggressive makeout session in the corner of the batcave.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Comments: 24
Kudos: 555





	Surprise, Surprise

“Get back to the cave, I’ll meet you there,” is the last thing Dick hears from Tim before their coms short out, disrupted by the burst of magical energy that had struck them.

It’s unsettling, hearing Tim speak in Dick’s voice. Weirder still to hear Tim’s voice come out of his own mouth, and dizzyingly uncanny to look down at his body and see Red Robin instead of Nightwing.

They’d teamed up to take down a crazy wizard, and the crazy wizard has certainly been taken down, but they hadn’t managed to escape unscathed either. They’d been separated in the resulting blast, and when Dick had gotten to his feet, shaking the ringing out of his ears, he’d found he was rather shorter and thinner than he was used to. His own confused voice over the com in his ear had confirmed that the switch was mutual, and now he’s trying to manoeuvre the unfamiliar body onto Red Robin’s bike.

He tries to swing his leg over, but his legs are shorter than they’d been five minutes ago, and he didn’t lift high enough. His knee collides painfully with the seat, and he curses.

It takes him a whole minute to haul himself onto the bike, and another minute to get steering under control now he has a different amount of muscle on his arms. Tim’s body is strong and fit, certainly, not weaker than Dick per se, it’s just… _different_. With a displeased grunt, he straightens his shoulders, revs the bike, and sets off.

Dick eventually makes it back to the Batcave, adjusting to his new balance on the unfamiliar bike.

He parks on the raised platform alongside the Batmobile and scans the area. Batman and Robin and on the far side of the cave, Bruce hunched over the computer typing up his report, and Damian finishing stowing his gear away, likely about to go to bed. Both glance up at his arrival, then go back to their work in silence, clearly not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Neither Red Hood nor Batgirl are around, though both should be due back soon, and Tim in Nightwing’s body is nowhere to be seen.

Dismounting is more successful than mounting was, and he only stumbles a little. Dick pulls down Red Robin’s cowl – it reminds him too much of the Batman costume – and rests his hands on the bike’s handlebars, taking a moment to centre himself.

His first step will have to be notifying Bruce of the situation. Once the others know what’s going on, they’ll have to get the comms back online and locate Tim, unless he shows up soon. Dick’s confident in the younger man got out safely, but unlike Tim, Dick didn’t have a vehicle in the field today, and Tim might be finding it difficult to grapple back with an unfamiliar body. Once that’s sorted, they can start searching for counter-spells to reverse the switch, maybe contact Zatanna.

Feeling more calm about the situation now he has a plan, Dick huffs out a breath and straightens, before hopping down from the parking platform and heading to join the others.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, large hands seize his shoulders from behind and yank him into the cover of the locker bay. Taken off guard, Dick lets out a startled yelp, but it’s muffled by the gloved hand which is quickly clapped over his mouth.

“Where do you think you’re goin’, little bird?” growls a low voice in his ear.

Dick’s eyes widen. _Jason? What is he doing? _

Before he can react further, his back is slammed against the wall and the Red Hood, barefaced but otherwise in full gear, is looming over him.

_Holy shit_ but he’s tall from this perspective. Jason’s a good several inches taller than Dick’s usual body as it is, but he positively _dwarfs_ Tim’s small frame. He looks about 8 feet tall from here, and his shoulders are impossibly broad.

Dick’s heart rate kicks up in a rush of fear and confusion. What the hell is going on? He thought Tim and Jason were on good terms now – they even work cases together sometimes! Why is Jason ambushing him like some high school bully in a PE changing room? He didn't think Jason would do such a thing, not anymore. 

Jason’s hands abruptly leave his mouth and shoulder and go for his wrists instead, pinning them roughly against the wall next to Dick’s head. Dick tugs back instinctively but Jason’s grip is like iron around Tim’s slim wrists.

_Shit, fuck,_ thinks Dick, _This is really happening. He’s about to beat me up. _

Pushing the burning question of _why_ out of his head, Dick frantically tries to recalibrate his thoughts to how he’d break a hold like this back when he was Robin-sized. While simultaneously shifting his weight to prepare for a powerful kick to Jason’s ribs – _wait, can Tim’s legs go that high? Is that standard flexibility level, or just a circus thing? shit_ – Dick opens his mouth to try and talk his way out of this.

“Jay!” he says urgently, “I…” But his words are abruptly cut off by Jason’s lips crashing against his own.

Having been braced for a headbutt, Dick’s brain promptly short-circuits, and it takes a moment to realise what’s going on.

He lets out an ‘Mmph!’ of surprise, which Jason responds to with a soft but fervent groan as he continues to attack Dick’s mouth. He surges forward and presses his body against the smaller man’s, grinding slightly against him.

“Look so damn good on that bike, babybird,” Jason growls in his ear. “One of these days I’m going to bend you over and fuck you on it.”

“Wha…?” begins Dick, scandalised, but Jason’s mouth covers his again before he can get the words out.

His movements are confident and practiced, and Dick realises with a jolt that this is a whole _thing_. Tim and Jason are hooking up – and_ regularly_.

The revelation is so shocking Dick can barely process it. Jason and Tim? _Jason_ and _Tim?!_ How long has this been going on? How come they haven’t noticed?

Jason continues to kiss him, rough and demanding and overwhelming, and Dick realises that he’s let his body freeze and is just _letting_ himself be kissed. First thing’s first – he needs to stop this. Before he can come up with a method of getting away from the massive body trapping him against the wall, Jason releases Dick’s wrists and turns his attention elsewhere.

Big hands slide over his body, groping him roughly, and Dick recoils automatically. Kissing is weird enough, the idea of Jason going any further, thinking he's someone else, is downright disturbing.

Thankfully, Jason seems to sense his discomfort, and pulls back.

“Something wrong?” he asks, slightly breathless.

Dick gapes at him, still reeling and fighting to get his breath back, and Jason frowns, letting his hands drop from Dick’s body.

“Hey,” he says softly, cupping Dick’s cheek and running a thumb over his cheekbone, “Everything ok, babybird? You’ve gone all quiet on me.”

The sudden change from the aggressive display of passion, to the most tender he’s seen Jason behave in, well… _ever_, is making Dick’s head spin even more, and he has to fight down a hysterical laugh.

He blinks stupidly at the concerned man for a moment, then manages a soft but heartfelt “What the _fuck_.”

It’s Jason’s turn to blink, then suddenly the hand is gone and he’s backed up a step.

“Babe?” he says, uncertainly.

At the same moment, Dick hears his own voice call out, “Jason? You here?” and Tim rounds the corner, in all Nightwing’s skin-tight, finger-striped glory.

Jason sighs.

“What do you want, Dick-face?” he asks impatiently.

Tim falters at the harsh stare turned on him, but only for a second before he crosses the distance to them.

“Jason,” he says, “There’s been an incident. I’m Tim. Dick and I got bodyswapped.”

Dick lets out a huff of breath. There it is, finally spoken out loud. Three short, succinct sentences which explain everything, which Dick himself hadn’t managed to get in edgeways until now.

Jason blinks, confused.

“Did… did you just say you’re _Tim?”_ he says.

Dick’s body nods. “Yeah. Bodyswap,” he says again. “Magic was involved. Not sure what type. We’ll probably have to call Zatanna in to fix it.”

Tim has been uncharacteristically distracted so far, apparently by the fact that he doesn’t know where to put his weight now his hips are wider, from the way he’s shifting around awkwardly. However, he’s a detective at heart, and it doesn’t take him longer to figure out something’s up.

He looks at them properly for the first time, and seems to notice the position they’re in, in the shadows of the locker bay, with Dick’s back to the wall, both of them flustered and pink in the face.

“Oh shit,” says Tim suddenly. “You tried to kiss him.”

Jason spins back to face Dick, all the blood draining from his face. “Hang on, does this mean you’re…?” he says, trailing off like he’s afraid of the answer.

“I’m Dick,” he confirms with a shaky nod.

“What the fuck?” Jason explodes, jumping back as though he’s been burned. “What the _fuck?!_ Why didn’t you tell me?”

“When?!” Dick demands furiously. “When, exactly, should I have told you, Jason? While you had your hand over my mouth, or while you were trying to shove your tongue down my throat?”

_“Jesus,_” says Tim, covering his face with his hands.

“Well,” blusters Jason, “Why didn’t you just fuckin’… push me off or, or _punch_ me or something, I dunno? Why’d you let me keep feeling you up?!” His voice is growing steadily higher.

“You had my hands pinned!” Dick protests, hearing his own voice pitching up. “And I’m _tiny!”_

“Hey!” says Tim, more out of habit than actual offence, Dick suspects.

They’re all panicking now.

“I just fucking made out with Dick!” says Jason, covering his eyes. “God help me, I just fucking made out with Dick!”

“Hey, you’re the one who started it without asking!” Dick snaps. He rounds on the two of them. “And you two are together now? When did this happen?”

“None of your business,” say Tim and Jason together, so closely synchronised it may as well have been rehearsed.

Dick throws his – Tim’s – hands in the air. “Wonderful! Just wonderful! How long were you planning on keeping us in the dark about this?”

“In the dark about what?”

All three of them jump as Bruce looms out of the shadows behind them.

“Jeeeesus, old man,” says Jason. “Can you fuckin’ _not?”_

“Language,” says Bruce automatically before turning back to Dick. “What’s going on here?”

“They’re _dating_,” says Dick instantly, pointing at Tim and Jason. “And they didn’t tell us!”

It’s probably not the right way to handle this, he reflects. He probably should have left it up to Tim and Jason to let Bruce know when they felt ready. But Dick’s been through a lot this evening, and his nerves are well and truly shot. And yes, he sounds childish, he can hear it in his own voice, but-

Oh god… not _his_ voice – _Tim’s_ voice.

Bruce’s brow furrows. “Dick and Jason are…?”

A chorus of emphatic _‘NO’s_ cuts him off. Bruce freezes, eyes narrowing as he tries to figure out where he went wrong in the face of such a clear statement.

Tim holds up his hands. “Look, guys, we’re doing this way out of order. Everyone please shut up for a moment.”

He turns to Bruce. “We ran into some magic trouble,” he says. “I’m Tim, in Dick’s body, and that,” he points, “Is Dick in my body. We got swapped.”

Bruce straightens, and nods. Magic he knows, magic he can deal with.

“I see,” he says. “We’ve encountered similar spells on Justice League business. It shouldn’t be too difficult to reverse, with help from one of our colleagues.” He pauses. “Why were you arguing?”

Tim hesitates, and grimaces apologetically at Jason before squaring his shoulders and turning back to Bruce.

“Jason and I are in a relationship,” he says. “It was our decision to keep it private, but Dick found out, as you’ve just heard.”

“Thanks for that, by the way, asshole,” Jason says, glaring at Dick.

“Hey, I never wanted to get involved in all of this!” Dick retorts angrily. “I didn’t exactly get a choice in the matter, did I?!”

“What happened?” asks Bruce sharply. Dick can see his gaze flicking between Tim and Jason, scanning for clues in body language he’s evidently been missing.

Tim sighs. “Dick didn’t know we were together until we had our bodies swapped,” he says. “But when he got back to the cave before me, Jason mistook Dick for me and tried to kiss him-”

“‘Tried to kiss me’?!” says Dick, indignantly, “He pinned me against the wall and told me he wanted to bend me over the bike and fuck me!”

The regret is instantaneous.

“Dick!” shouts Jason, flushing bright red.

_“Jason,”_ says Bruce at the same moment, looking appalled.

_“Bruce,”_ groans Tim, burying his face in his hands.

“Tim-” says Dick, realising his mistake and reaching for the younger man apologetically.

They all stop.

After a moment of tense silence, Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

“How long has this being going on?” he asks.

Tim sighs, and mutters something under his breath.

Bruce frowns. “Pardon?”

“He said eight months! What are you, deaf?” snaps Jason, stepping to Tim’s side and putting an arm round his shoulders defiantly.

Batman looks between them, his expression unreadable, then seems to come to a decision.

“As I’m sure you’re aware,” he says seriously, “Having a partner in the field can be a liability as much as a strength. I expect you to not let your feelings get in the way of you making the right call for the greater good. I also expect you to act professionally if you decide to end your relationship.

“Having said that,” he sighs, “If you make each other happy, then I’m not going to get in your way.”

The pair look surprised, obviously having expected more fallout. They glance at each other, then Jason nods his head, and Tim says “Thank you, Bruce,” quietly.

“Well then,” Bruce steps back quickly and squares his shoulders, pulling up the cowl once more. “We should contact Zatanna at once. First priority is getting you two back in your correct bodies.”

The three let out a collective breath of relief, and everyone hurries to get their masks back on.

Jason sidles over to Dick and bites his lip. “Look, I’m sorry if I, y’know, scarred you for life or something,” he says, looking at the ground awkwardly.

Dick huffs out a laugh and presses his fingers to his temple dramatically. “With time, and counselling, I’ll probably manage to get over it.”

Jason guffaws and knocks his shoulder against Dicks, before striding away to re-join Tim. Dick watches them link hands briefly, and wonders how he didn’t see it before.

Shaking his head to himself, he goes to join B at the computer.

Maybe this will change the team dynamic in future, maybe it won’t. But for now, there’s work to be done.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah it ain’t polished and I’m not that happy with the ending, but once I had the idea I just needed to get this out of my head and onto a page so I can focus on studying for my exams. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I'm @in-fearful-day-in-raging-night on tumblr


End file.
